Paraquat Welcomes Pervert Astropath

The Paraquat Daily Informant

Written By Print Servitor 675/ABU7

The good people of Paraquat have been given the dubious honour of having a member of Astra Telepathica deployed within our settlements walls. The name of the Astropath is one  Shilum Drool previously of Hive Primus, Necromunda. However, Drool is not the best example of an upstanding servant of The Emperor as he was recently involved in a scandal where he first went missing Slag Valley Bullett #8 and the subsequently found some time later in a notorious den of iniquity Slag Valley Bullett #10. What is unclear is the circumstances behind his incarceration in The Last Gasp a famed knocking shop on Hive Primus.

Shilum Drool welcomed by mayor Drompf, accompanied by a couple of flunkies and members of the Adeptus Arbites

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Just Arrived In The Bus Terminal

As is standard Paraquat transportation regulations, any or all visitors must present themselves to local officials for an integration hearing before being let out into the town itself. Here are today’s intake from the Blinding Desert coach services. Also part of the regulations are any person or persons wishing to inhabit Paraquat must have the means to defend themselves and for identification purposes have a functionality test of each weapon to determine expected life span of said individual.

First in is Little Marve a green skinned human mutant from the settlement of Rad Heap. Marve is moving to Paraquat to gain employment cleaning windows and fruit picking in some of the many Mindblewm Orchards on the outskirts of town. He has brought an antique Pickler & Smock stub gun, a quiver of throwing darts and a small dagger.

IMG_7757     Little Marve

Next off the bus is Burke, an experienced ‘pest control’ expert from Blackret Ridge a large settlement with an abundance of vermin. He is seeking work as a bug hunter for one of the large trading houses of Paraquat. Burke has bought with him a large calibre rat gun from the Glossop foundry in Blackret Ridge. For added protection Burke also has a knife and a stub gun.



Two brothers Plaxx and Floss, from Steroidia are here ‘on holiday’ to visit some of Paraquat’s famed breweries and perhaps gain an audience with one of the brain gurus in the locale. The brothers Grinn as the are known are carrying an Eversore autogun (Plaxx) and a 12mm autopistol (Floss). Floss also bears a Amputator chainsword with cut harder stripes.


Plaxx & Floss

Another visitor to the town is Skikk Bloodblisters originally from Necromunda, Skikk is now a mutant rights advocate and ambassador for the oppressed. Armed with little more than his banner made of reinforced beaten ceramite™ and some wicked claws on his feet, Skikk is probably not a worthwhile target to some of the town muggers and associated cutthroat guild.


Skikk Bloodblisters

Also from Rad Heap come Furry Zep and Snuffler, two human mutants seeking work in one the huge platignum mines of local  business man Biznez Mann. Both come protecting themselves with Happy Stopper® shotguns and a variety of natural weapons such as Snuffler’s ability to snort out diamond hard snot rockets.


Furry Zep & Snuffler

Finally two freelance cultural and/or holy icon bearers have arrived in town to make a living with one of the many religious fundamentalist temples in town. Lewcas (left) is armed with a Happy Stopper® shotgun whilst Glaxco (right) has an Eazee Clip reloader autogun (patent pending). Lewcas has also had his right arm replaced with that of an alien to improve stability and gripping ability.


Lewcas & Glaxco

So the population of Paraquat has gone up by nine, this vibrant community is thriving!

Wikkommen To Krablokistan!

Paraquat, large town on the imperial planet of Krablokistan has always been somewhat lawless, but recently the crime rate has risen alarmingly!

Viscos Labormarti – Savior of Paraquat?

The town elders, not wanting to endanger themselves, have decided to reinstate the position of Marshall of Paraquat. Similar to Sherriff or Judge, the Marshall has the power to sentence miscreants the Black Hole of Paraquat – supposedly the hardest jail to escape from on the planet. The newly appointed Marshall is one Viscos Labormarti, ex-Guardsman and former prize fighter.


One of Viscos’ first high profile collars was Strangler Arris, an unpleasant thug with a reputation of violence and a short fuse, also a known substance abuser. The Marshall apprehended Arris shortly after he entered a well documented Spinejuice den. Once incarcerated, it was simply a matter of a kangaroo court and a swift sentencing. Simples. The Black Hole is also known as the Iceberg, as 90% of the facility is below ground. The Black Hole proper is 18,000M below the surface of Krablokistan, and fully automated. The armoured lift is only scheduled to go up

Spinejuice Den where Arris was nabbed


or down once a month. Whilst waiting, Arris is kept in the holding cells above ground
which are generally the province of drunks and petty criminals. The lift is due to return in 10 days, so time is an important factor.



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Chank sets his Cyber hounds to ‘halt’.

Meanwhile, associates of Arris moved swiftly, a hefty bribe to Chank. He is the Cyber hound technician allocated to the upper section of The Black Hole. As is often the case with low paid individuals, a bribe accompanying a threat can work wonders for integrity realignment . Three months technician salary and the retention of all currently viable limbs is a persuasive argument.  Chank then disables the normal patrol protocols which gives a brief window of opportunity for a message to be given to Arris regarding his escape.


Two members of the Guild of Thugs approach the rear of the Black Hole giving Arris his instructions regarding his breakout. Durk Radon and Slashette talk to the impassive Strangler Arris. His nickname come from his huge gnarled hands that have ended the lives of many an unfortunate Paraquat resident.
“Some offworlders are coming to break you out within the next few days” Radon explains. “They’re not cheap, but they come with good credentials”.
Arris’ only reply was “They’d better be good! If I have to dig myself back up I’ll take your other arm!”.
With that the pair leave the vicinity to make some final preparations for the escape of their fearsome leader.

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Two members of the Guild of Thugs gang ‘visit’ Strangler Arris discussing a possible jailbreak.








The story continues…..